No “Yes” is always a “No”.

Here’s a great tweet:

“@nicola_blunders: The right to say no to sex is a core human right. Attempting to erode that right is an act of aggression. It’s not a ‘debate’.”

And if the character limit allowed, I’d add “and the absence of a YES should always be construed as a NO.”

Here’s another great tweet:

“@Anonymoosh: only a clear,emphatic,informed and consensual ‘YES PLEASE’ each and every time is assent,anything less is not so get over it #sexualpolitics”

I completely agree.

But whoops! What if I’m feeling really sexy, totally turned on by you, absolutely up for it, ready and willing for whatever you have in mind and I …y’know … forget to say “yes”?

And what if – naughty minx that I am – I’m all of the above and I say “no” when I really mean “yes”, what then?

Here’s what I think should happen in the situation where my “no” or the absence of a “yes” leads You to the idea that I don’t know my own mind; that I want to really but I’m sending “mixed signals”.

Don’t carry on trying to have sex with me. Stop. Walk away. You could even say “I’m stopping now because it seems like you’re saying no, or at least, not saying yes.”

Then, if I – whoops, silly me – got my “yeses” and my “noes” mixed up; or forgot the word “yes” completely That would jog my memory. And as an added bonus for us both, you wouldn’t rape me.

That clear? Good.


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