The Bottled Water Tariff was established in the August riots of 2011 when a 23 year old student with no previous convictions was jailed for the maximum permitted 6 months for the theft of bottled water worth £3.50.
When a member of the well-insulated rich elite, with their absurdist sense of entitlement, is found guilty of stealing from or defrauding others I now assess the appropriate length of his or her sentence based on the Bottled Water Tariff (BWT)
Today’s example is 3 men sent to prison for defrauding a Swiss Bank of $22million.
$22million = approx £14million.
£14million divided by £3.50 (BWT) = 4,000,000
Therefore the value of the bank fraud offence is the equivalent of four million bottled water offences.
This would be 6 months imprisonment on the BWT so this offence should carry a penalty of four million times 6 months. 24,000,000 months.
Divide that by 12 to give a more manageable sentencing unit of years = 2,000,000 years.
If 2 million years seems unreasonable for a $22million fraud, maybe 6 months was unreasonable for £3.50 bottled water.